Sexual/Scientific

​Discoveries 

Cheryl McMeeken, interviewed by Jūratė Šeškevičiūtė

of Prie Kavos Magazine, Lithuania 

Interviews & Appearances



Magazine Interview
Prie Kavos Magazine
Justina Petraškevičienė
The Most Popular Sexual Positions 


Magazine Interview
Prie Kavos Magazine
Justina Petraškevičienė
What is Good Sex and How Do You Get It?


Magazine Interview
Prie Kavos Magazine
Justina Petraškevičienė
What Makes a Good Lover?


Magazine Interview
Prie Kavos Magazine
Justina Petraškevičienė
The 1,2,3 of Eastern Sex Practices


Magazine Interview
Moters Patarimai Magazine

Justina Petraškevičienė

The Art of Orgasm


Magazine Interview
Prie Kavos Magazine
Jūratė Šeškevičiūtė

Sexual/Scientific Breakthroughs


Magazine Interview

Prie Kavos Magazine

Jūratė Šeškevičiūtė

Are Sex Toys Addictive


Magazine Interview
BeatRoute Magazine
by Michaela Ritchie
Sex Toys and Intimacy


Newspaper Interview

Calgary Journal

by Michaela Ritchie

Decreasing taboos, Increasing Intimacy


Magazine Interview

Chatelaine Magazine

Learn About Sex from Alberta

by Jennifer Berry


Magazine Interview

Spanish Women's Magazine

by Samantha Aretuo

How to Improve Your Sex Life in 2016


Online Magazine Interview

by Michelle Horton

Sex Drive During Pregnancy

Bustle.com


Youtube Interview
by Rihanna Poskin
Fertility Summit

How to Increase Fertility Naturally-a sex therapist's perspective


Interactive Media Presentation

Telus Spark Science Center

​Adults Only Night

Love In The Digital Age


Podcast Interview

Agree or Disagree: The Podcast

by Kevin Olenick

Sex and the Stampede


Magazine Interview

The WEAL

by Tina Amini

Sex Injuries


Friends Church Interview

by Angela Kokott 

Communicating Relationship Needs


Women's Evening Presentation

Sex, Magic & Menopause
with Dr. Fiona H. Lovely


Magazine Interview

The WEAL

by Heather Yamashita

Location Sex & Sex Furniture


Friends Church Presentation

Sex & Intimacy Questions Answered

Facilitated by Jeff Jarvis


Interview 

SexyTV

by L. Neil Thrussell

Relationships That Sizzle


TV Interview
by Peter Akman
CBC TV News, Calgary

Magazine Feature
Fast Forward Weekly Magazine

A Day in the Life of a Sex Therapist

by Trevor Howell

Radio Interview
Charlee Morgan Weekend Show
Mix 97.7 FM, Calgary

Radio Interview
Charlee Morgan Weekend Show
Mix 97.7 FM, Calgary

Newspaper Interview
Vivian Song – Sun Media Group, Canada
The Great Canadian SEX Survey

Radio Interview
Ride 103.5 FM, Calgary

Newspaper Interview
Calgary Herald Newspaper
Sex After 45, Real Life Section

Radio Interview
CBC Radio Canada
Sex Shops in Calgary

Staff
Tickled Pink, with Dr. John Demartini
Gala Evening
Calgary

Staff
The Power Within, a passion for life conference
Calgary

Newspaper Interview
Calgary Herald Newspaper
Everything you ever wanted to know about sex… Real Life Section

Radio Special Feature 
Lite 96, Calgary
Sex In the Stampede City

Collaborator
One Yellow Rabbit,

Sex Positive Performance Art Event

T.V. Interview
Global T.V.

The Sexuality Conference For Discerning Adults 

Radio Interview
CJSW

T.V. Interview 
Global T.V.

Presenter
Taboo, Naughty but Nice Sex Show

Presenter
The Art of Fellatio, how to blow his mind!

Newspaper Interview
Calgary Herald

Presenter
Unleash Your Inner Sex Goddess Workshop

Radio Interview
CBC Radio, John Spittle

Presenter
The Erotic Show

Presenter
Unleash Your Inner Sex Goddess Workshop

Radio Interview
Urban Sex Show
CJSW

Sex is a physically demanding activity that has caused various injuries. Most injuries are minor but can cause major embarrassment to the sufferer.

The network TLC has even created a TV series called “Sex sent me to the ER”. In the series they show couples that have endured traumatic injuries during sex and the circumstances in which they were injured. Many common injuries that occur during sex are situations like broken penis, allergic reactions, stroke, muscle spasms, rug burns and rashes.

Cheryl McMeeken a sex and relationship therapist, working in Calgary, Alberta, explained that minor injuries can happen more often than expected.

“The TV show is obviously created based on the more sensational injuries,” she said.

Cheryl explained in a telephone interview that many couples sustain unnecessary minor injuries due to lack of knowledge or preparation.

“People trying different positions can pull and strain muscles, especially if they are not regulars at the gym,” said McMeeken.

She spoke quite a bit about the importance of female hormonal balance, in order to maintain health and prevent injuries to delicate tissues during sex. Hormone imbalance can happen at any age and can be caused by many things including some methods of birth control and common stress.

Cheryl said that strong soaps or lotions could also cause inflammation.

“The vagina is like a self cleaning oven, there is no need to use douches or soaps that may upset the natural PH balance and disturb good bacteria,” said McMeeken.

Some of The most dangerous places featured on Sex Sent me to the ER have proven to be the most untraditional, yet fun, such as “ on the sofa, in the shower and on the chair”.

The doctors with the TV series Sex Sent me to the ER reported that the most common sex related injury they see in the emergency room is individuals getting objects stuck in their anus.

McMeeken has dealt with some clients who have told stories of having objects lost or stuck inside them as well. She advised that people stick to purpose make sex toys, that are specifically designed not to get lodged or lost. Since the sex toy industry is unregulated, buyer beware. A good rule of thumb is to select toys that have no chemical odor and are non-porous and made from body friendly materials. Cleaning toys after each usage helps to avoid infections.

Cheryl spoke about how necessary it is for people to use lubrication, to avoid road rash or inflammation, during sex and even while masturbating.

“There is a lack of education on most things sexual, we teach people how to drive, we should teach them practical information about sex to avoid embarrassment and discomfort,” McMeeken said. Sex injuries may be more common than one may think, but most are preventable with a little information and education.

SEX INJURIES

Cheryl McMeeken, interviewed by

The WEAL newspaper

The identities of the following sex therapy clients have been disguised in this article to protect their anonymity. 

Visualize yourself in a sex therapy session. What do you see? A leather couch? Maybe a stuffy academic sitting off in the corner, nodding incessantly and scribbling down God knows what as you divulge your deepest fantasies and fears. 

Or perhaps you see the therapist laying out a strict penis-exercise regime to help you master your domain. 

If that last bit raised your… ummm… eyebrow, then read on and enter the world of local sex therapist and educator Cheryl McMeeken, who in 2002 started Sex With Cheryl. It’s a unique venture that addresses the psychological, physical and emotional aspects of the human being. 

“It’s ironic that we think we can deal with sexual issues without dealing with the body…. I find that bizarre,” says McMeeken. Her university degree in education and life coaching certification merged well with her relationship and sexual therapy-related training. “Sex is one of the great places where adults can play. Human beings are creatures of touch. We can live without sex; we can’t thrive without touch.” 

So, are the citizens of this notoriously button-down, conservative prairie metropolis looking to reach out and be touched? You bet, says McMeeken, who describes one client’s tendency to hook up with fellow drivers — strangers — during rush hour before continuing home to her sexless marriage. “That’s the straight-laced business Calgary. That’s what happens.” 

“We pretend to be so good, so politically correct, so perfect,” she says. “But the same person sitting at church or at work being perfect is seeing three hookers a week or has a dungeon in their basement.” 

Fast Forward Weekly pries open McMeeken’s schedule book to see what a typical workday for a sex therapist looks like. (Names and identifying details have been changed.) 

10:00 a.m. – John and Lisa. Three-Month Couples Rejuvenation.

Originally they sought therapy because they were only having sex four times a year and now they’re half -way through a three-month couples rejuvenation package. They have both been in for an individual session and today is their first joint session. 

Night after night, John plants himself in front of his living room TV. His partner, Lisa, does the same — in the bedroom. A once active sex life has all but dried up and left town, dropping by to visit only as often as the seasons change. They’ve sought alternatives to spice things up — swing clubs, online dating — only to find themselves increasingly disassociated from one another. 

This, says McMeeken, is an “astonishingly common” scenario — a symptom of a near pathological need to overachieve on a professional level, while utterly failing in the relationship department. It’s a situation she labels DINS (double income, no sex). “I think a lot of people are having boring sex. Or they’re not having any. We’ve all got Gucci handbags, but no one’s having any orgasms or connecting.” 

When couples try to legitimize this situation by insisting they have a good relationship in every other way, the needle on McMeeken’s “bullshit metre” hits red. “Sex is communication, so obviously it is a symptom of communication failure. What I hear over and over with couples is, ‘Oh yeah, we talk all day long.’ But they talk about other things: the weather, Tiger Woods, the stock market… none of that matters. That’s what I emphasize to them.” 

McMeeken first meets with the couples on an individual basis to suss out the situation because, as she puts it, “people will be totally dishonest. Even if they’re husband and wife and been together for 25 years, they’ll sit here and lie to be nice.” She then conducts a joint session and assigns homework and intimacy-based strategies to create new patters and reconnect the troubled couple both emotionally and physically. 

“It takes some patience and willingness on both sides to let the bricks of the wall come down,” she says. “It can feel a little weird only having sex four times a year and now having it more often.” 

Noon – Steven. Coaching on longer-lasting orgasms.

Steven’s wife originally called looking for information because his premature ejaculation issues were really starting to affect his self-esteem and their ability to connect and enjoy sex. 

Most men, like Steven, measure their masculinity on the quality and duration of their performance. Even a rare occurrence of jumping the gun can be a blow to the male ego. If it becomes common, it can be devastating and turn a once-firm relationship flaccid. 

“Often the greater problem with (premature ejaculation) is that it affects every part of their life because their self-esteem is destroyed,” says McMeeken. “It affects relationships because it feels as though they’ve let down their partner time after time. They don’t want to talk about it; they don’t want to feel like a disappointment. It causes fights and disconnection.” 

There are unique skills and techniques men can learn to gain control over their unruly orgasms, says McMeeken. 

While the first half of the session revolves around a sit-down discussion of Steven’s problem and strategy creation, the second half may involve a more hands-on approach. This only occurs if the client is comfortable with this approach. But let’s be clear: this is not a handjob, but rather a kegel training session for men. “The idea is there are certain set skills involving muscle groups in the body — to tense and relax at appropriate times — that need to be learned to control orgasm,” she says. “I’ve done it without the experiential segment and invariably people come back and say, ‘It didn’t work ‘or ‘I’m having mixed results.’ But it always works with the experiential learning portion.” 

2:30 p.m. – Alex. Sex addiction session.

Alex has attended a 12-step program for several years but has found it is no longer moving him forward. He believes that words have power and re-identifying himself as an addict at every meeting is bothering him. He also finds it victimizing to claim he has no power and has a sickness. Because of additional stress in his life lately, he fears he may act out again. Alex is seeking a more accountable, empowering approach to dealing with his addictive nature. 

Addiction of any kind is complex and often requires a great deal of patience and understanding to endure the inherent successes and failures. Treating sex addiction, however, is unique in that, unlike drugs and alcohol, the objective isn’t to abstain completely from the activity, contends McMeeken. “It’s healthy; it’s good for you. There’s research that shows the more we have sex, the more happy and satisfied human beings we are. So we don’t want them to, ‘quit cold turkey,’ and take the healthy benefits away.” 

McMeeken approaches the addiction in a way she believes is less counter-intuitive than many other treatments. Clients, like Alex, are coming to her seeking an environment where the treatment mentality is less about being a victim of a disease and more about developing empowerment and accountability strategies. 

“With all this new consciousness around us, people are saying, ‘I don’t want to say I’m an addict.’ We don’t say that every single day of our lives; we don’t identify in that way. So what about, ‘I’m healed,’” says McMeeken. “Saying ‘I’m an addict’ every day is really the complete opposite of an affirmation; you’re affirming negative.” 

4:30 p.m. – Mike. Erectile Dysfunction.

Mike was originally referred by his doctor. He has had every test known and medications were of no assistance. Seeking a more holistic approach, Mike has come in for three talk therapy sessions over 3 months and is now not plagued by faltering erections. E.D. is mostly created by, ‘the big head’ according to McMeeken. We are ‘human doings,’ rushing from one thing to the next in this technology age. We have become less and less present in our bodies which is where we have to be to have great sex. “There is nothing on the planet that can stimulate all 5 senses like sex.” says McMeeken.

She does offer couples sessions to add “new tools to the toolbox,” for couples not in crisis who want to live it up as much as possible…in bed.

“Some people are challenged by talking frankly about sex, even to their most intimate partners,” says McMeeken. “They feel uncomfortable and don’t understand it as a playful and connective experience. Most Europeans can’t even fathom how we’re so uptight.” 

For those brave souls who want more from life, Cheryl McMeeken is only an email or phone call away. She is also currently working on a new book, and several online classes in which she shares the skills and tips we all should have learned at age 18. 

Published in THE NATIONAL POST
ACTIVE IN THE GOLDEN YEARS section


by Cheryl McMeeken
Certified Educator, Accredited Life Coach, Sex & Relationship Therapist

In past generations, once one retired it meant life slowed down and a new course was charted in the direction of a nursing home.


What’s the difference now? In the last 30 years (the interval of a generation according to Ancestory.com) advanced medical care and improved lifestyle has created a generation of uber-vital retirees who feel 60 is the new 40. This applies to the bedroom too! These early baby boomers are interested in living life to the fullest and doing more of what they want, when they want. They have every intention of having their cake, or should I say, ‘muffin’ and eating it too.

I recently spoke with 82-year-old author and sex educator Dr. Betty Dodson on Youtube proclaiming that she is enjoying sex more than any other time in her life since she turned 70. Her view on sex and age— “I consider the 70s to be the youth of old age. So all you women out there who are afraid of getting older, just keep your orgasms in place, eat a lot of vegetables, take exercise and you’ll be fine.”

When queried, my mod-mature clients, friends and family members reported feeling like now is their time to really enjoy life. Where generations past were, at the same age, suffering the wear and tear of a lifetime of hard physical labour, modern life has left these scandalous seniors with energy to spare.I can personally attest to this as I attempt to keep pace with my septua- genarian deep-water workout buddies every morning!

Modern day retirees are also finding they are no longer plagued by the sex and relationship issues of their youth. 
In growing older they have:
■■Gained emotional maturity;
■■Learned communication skills;
■■Discarded their body image issues;
■■Become clear about what they want;
■■Have greater appreciation for each other.

Practice makes perfect and is paying off for these frisky golden-agers. They report that the quality of their relation- ships is “most definitely better”. And I can tell you, better relationships equal better sex. All unresolved relationship issues show up as symptoms in the bed- room.

Game changers

Retirees who may have felt they originally got married too young—many of them in their teens—are now singletons once more. The ones I have spoken to are still hopeful of finding intimacy and excitement.“The thinking is different,” they say. “It may not have seemed right for a 65-year-old woman to be on the prowl a generation ago, but it is now the accepted norm.” Single seniors are found along with everyone else, browsing for potential co-adventurers on dating sites such as Plenty of Fish and Lavalife.

My own mother’s take on the subject is, “Age is a state of mind, we don’t feel old, why should we act old!” This new attitude indicates a positive change in our collective belief system surrounding ageing.

Combined with this new mindset, we now have a host of modern medical and holistic treatments for menopause and andropause (unheard of 30 years ago) available to reduce and in some cases eliminate symptoms completely. This leaves modern retirees free to enjoy the benefits of an empty nest. With fewer distractions and commitments they are capitalizing on a richness and fullness of life that their predecessors never dreamt of. On the adventurous side, I know of retired couples that have started to explore their sexuality more since their kids have left home. I am told an empty nest is a great place to entertain other couples.”

So, let’s applaud these trail- blazing post-mid-agers for, if not inventing sex, showing us that what we thought was the end is just the beginning.

One of my favorite sexual/scientific breakthroughs is the discovery of the clitoris. Some may say, “Ah, we already know about that one.” But, it turns out that what we previously knew as the clitoris was just the tip of the iceberg, literally and figuratively. 

Scientists have only discovered the full extent of the clitoris in the last few years. This has turned what we believed about female orgasm on its head. It was previously thought that there was a clitoral orgasm, g-spot orgasm and vaginal orgasm. Some claimed there were a few more they could achieve. Through this new understanding of the full extent of the clitoris we now know that there is only one kind of female orgasm, the clitoral orgasm. 

The clitoris is actually larger than the average penis and extends back into the body along the top of the vagina, the area known as the g-spot. It also has bulbs and legs that wrap around the sides of the vagina internally, giving us the pleasure associated with penetration and for some, what has been known as a vaginal orgasm. 

The full understanding of the clitoris has taken years to achieve and involved scientists from across the globe. Urologist Helen O’Connell of Australia first researched the clitoris using MRI technology. A number of years later, French researchers Dr. Odile Buisson and Dr. Pierre Foldes gave us the first 3D ultrasound images of a stimulated clitoris.

Thanks to new technological advances we can now have a good look at a 3D printed clitoris. These 3D prints will hopefully be used in all sex education classes in the future. Greater knowledge of female pleasure will help close the orgasm gap between the sexes. Research indicates that 95% of men said they usually experience orgasm during sex, compared to just 65% of women. We obviously still need some work in this area. 

 To see the 3D printed clitoris, follow this link: http://www.ufunk.net/en/tech/imprimer-un-clitoris-en-3d/

No Need to Retire Sex

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